"life will never be the same"

"On the night you were born, the moon shone with such wonder that the stars peeked in to see you and the night wind whispered 'Life will never be the same.' Because there had never been anyone like you... ever, in the world."

-- An excerp from Nancy Tillman's book, On The Night You Were Born


With the baby coming "any day now", according to my doctor, you can only imagine how consumed I am with everything baby. I bought On The Night You Were Born at my most recent Barnes & Noble rendezvous (can't get enough of that place). When John read it aloud to me and the belly on Sunday night, I could hardly control the swells of tears in my eyes. The whole book is so true and perfectly worded that I can't imagine one single day passing that I won't read it to baby Collins.

So, like I said, i'm one brisk afternoon walk away from meeting this new little fellow and the anticipation mounts with every passing day. Last night I had two strong contractions that woke me from sleeping and I lept out of the bed thinking "THIS IS IT! IT'S TIME!". WRONG! Can you imagine being completely prepared (well, almost completely) for something and then having to sit idly by and wait with absolutely no hint of when it's coming? Have you ever been stuck in the airport for a flight delay? Every minute that passes is another minute that you get older and more antsy wondering when the hell your flight will be ready. Well... this is SO much worse than that! It's exhausting! I need to meet this guy - hear his sweet baby cries - and know that all ten fingers and toes are properly placed.

As intense and overwhelming as I make it all sound, my latest blood pressure reading indicated otherwise. I'm as cool as a cucumber. Is someone slipping me Xanax? I wouldn't be surprised. I'm feeling more relaxed than EVER before. I may even branch out to use the word "sedated". Calm. It's unusual. It's unexpected. And i'm loving it. I thought I was alone in this eerie calm until I read the blog of another hip prego who experienced the same thing. This calm has also brought about an over-powering love and adoration for John. I want to hug him and shout my love for him from the rooftops. If he only knew! Maybe it would be a good idea to tell him. Whatever this natural remedy is, i'm embracing it. It's certainly a nice change of pace from the raging and uncontrollable hormonal swings i've experienced the other 8-1/2 months.

Looks like the real Courtney is back. Or is this just the calm before the storm?

At any rate, I believe my fabulous friend, Rachel, put it best in an email she sent me this morning... "enjoy your last few moments before you become a mommy forever." Forever! I've never been so ready for "forever".

"Life will never be the same." **smiles & happy tears**