and what a year it has been. 2010 started off with a bang as we celebrated sully's first birthday and the birth of my nephew, brooks - all in the same weekend! february brought the first "real" snow charleston has seen in 10 years which worked to sabotage the night of a much anticipated valentine's date with my husband. with february also came the decision to build a house and the start of a grueling construction process. the next few months were filled with sully's first steps, planning and more planning for mine and john's summer wedding, design decisions for the house, mom's long awaited retirement, the visit of two special friends and their little boy in april, 3 bridal showers, the return of a friend who had been living in france for 8 years, a revelation that my love for photography should be invested in, resulting in the purchase of a bad-mama-jama camera (thanks john!), and a hiatus from blogging for about 3 months (sorry, sorry). then summer arrived and on june 5th, the stress of all that wedding planning proved its worth as john and i made this thing official and said "i do" at a charming old barn in the pasture land of fort mill, south carolina with 180 of our closest friends and family. it was bliss. i'm embarassed to say, though, that i only just visited the social security office today to legally become mrs. courtney ackerman greider. oops! less than one month after our nuptuals, construction on the house was done-zo and we closed. falling in line on the very last day that we could qualify for the $8,000 tax credit - that john just mailed out this morning. i know.... what is wrong with us? at the crack of dawn on july 17th, movers showed up at the little apartment that was sully's first home and hauled all of our belongings out to summerville in the sweet neighborhood where everyone waves and sunny days seem just a little bit sunnier. trying to fill a house over double the size of what we had before was no easy (or cheap) task. in fact, it was pretty exhausting, but in the past few months we have turned that empty dream house into a home. there might be worse things to complain about than having too much space. ;) july breezed into august which breezed into september where i celebrated my 29th birthday. i find myself sometimes pushing against the days that lead me into the year that i turn thirty. i like 29. just old enough to be considered mature, but not too old to still act young. you know? september also brought the fantastic news that my bf, carissa, was pregnant. which, of course, gave me the baby itch. but we won't tell john. shhhhhh! and in october, the birth of another nephew jackson (to john's sister) made that itch even stronger. and no, i won't be ending this post by saying that i'm pregnant. in the future, yes. or hopefully. but for now, just hopefully. later that same month gamecock fans across the state went berzerk as we watched our team beat the number 1 team in the country, alabama. a victorious season for a team that's long overdue. coming off of that victory, was yet another victory - i found a new daycare for sully. it was one of the best decisions i have made, to date and he couldn't be more content. but with the sweet, comes the sour. days before thanksgiving my sister was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. as i type she is at her second chemo treatment with her newly bald head. the big "c" may have brought on its share of undesirables but they are no match for her humorous and heroic attitude. holidays in our family have been filled with just as much laughter and joy as all those past. and maybe a few extra bald heads in show of support. the christmas season came and went with a new collection of absurd and hilarious stories to add to the pot. and today i prepare as three boys - my two stepsons and 18 year old brother-in-law - will be coming to visit and celebrate the new year this weekend. i call it "the landing of the hurricanes." but there could be no better way to end a year full of such change and new beginnings than to celebrate with the ones i love. i pray for peace for the families of those who have passed on in 2010 and send light and love to the lives that came in 2010 and are soon to come in 2011. i send warm wishes to those who don't have the luxury of being with their families this season. and raise a glass of bubbly to 2011 and all that it shall bring. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
12.30.2010
christmas snow
how lucky that we got to see snowflakes fall on christmas day at my paren't house in lancaster and then woke up to this on the morning after christmas...
12.21.2010
you win some, you lose some
I scrounged up this picture of Tucker, circa 2005, in a dusty old album on my work computer. . . wearing a sweater my mom gave me for Christmas one year because she thought it had ME "written all over it". Yikes!
Sorry Mom (and Tucker).
12.16.2010
12.15.2010
tinsel time
i'll admit i was a little sad for the 3 s's (summer time, sweat, sandy beaches) when I came across this picture earlier today...
maybe it's the bad-mama-jama glasses. not really sure.
but thankfully my spirits were restored when I spotted this, circa christmas '09...
jingle on, jingle bells!
12.14.2010
resolve
He sits there in the corner. Watching me as I rush by, getting kids fed and dressed and taxiing them to their various daily destinations. He never complains, only patiently waits for my attention. Sometimes days, or even a week go by, without me bothering to do stop, even for a minute, to make room in my life for him. Because he knows that I will come back and when I do, with the utmost attention and fondness. So he waits, quietly, peacefully. I pulled this bit from an article in Elephant Journal. It inspired 2 shiny, new resolutions....
- Sadly this article reminded me of my dog, though the author was addressing her yoga mat. My sweet 7 year old Boxer gets the love, attention, and basic necessities required from any competent dog owner. But I won't pretend that he gets the same amount of activity that he did in days when it was just the two of us. So I resolve to take him for a walk - a real, all the way around the neighborhood, exhausted and panting on the floor afterwards, walk no matter what the weather - atleast once a week.
- My yoga mat hasn't been waiting patiently for a few days or even a few weeks. More like months. Months that seem like decades in a body that feels worn and flabby. So I also resolve to attend one yoga (or pilates) class each week. As a little thank you to my body for time well served and a bonus to my mind for working so hard.
12.13.2010
12.06.2010
break free
when you're in the thick of it all,
it can be easy to lose sight of what's
important. (remember what they
say about not seeing the forest
for the trees!) so here's a bright idea:
rather than feel crowded by your
obligations, take a deep breath
(or 10), clear a space for yourself and
focus on what truly matters. you're
happy. you're healthy. and you're
loved. everything else is just details.
compliments of the december issue of Self magazine
it can be easy to lose sight of what's
important. (remember what they
say about not seeing the forest
for the trees!) so here's a bright idea:
rather than feel crowded by your
obligations, take a deep breath
(or 10), clear a space for yourself and
focus on what truly matters. you're
happy. you're healthy. and you're
loved. everything else is just details.
compliments of the december issue of Self magazine
12.01.2010
stand by me
what do you say when a woman you love... a woman you admire... a kind, intellegent, witty woman tells you that she has breast cancer? where do you find the right words to console her in the way that she needs to be consoled? does she need to laugh? cry? break something? how will she tell her eight year old son who adores her that "mommy has breast cancer"? is she scared to lose her hair and do you ask that question for it's possible she hasn't even thought of it yet? and where do you find the strength to not cry even though it feels like someone just punched you in your gut?
2 weeks ago, at 8:30 on a sunday night, these were the questions rolling through my mind when my sister, my only sister, called to tell me that the biopsy results were in and with one word, the course of her life was forever changed...
malignant.
rewind 3 weeks before this call. i was driving home on one of those gorgeous, orange-sky indian summer afternoons. i was thinking about my sister. growing up she was more of a mother-figure to me than a sister. being 11 years my senior she always gave me partial credit for christmas gifts she bought our parents, let me visit for long weekends when she was away at college, influenced my love for classic rock, and introduced me to a variety of priceless eighties movies that i otherwise would never have known but are now my favorites.
i flashed back to a saturday afternoon when i was younger. my sister and i watched "stand by me" that afternoon and when the theme song played at the end, she took my hands and we danced. and laughed. in the den of the house we both grew up in and where our parents still live happily today. i went in my room that afternoon and wondered what i would do if my sister "left" like gordie's brother did, in the movie. it was the first time i remember being worried about losing someone i loved. i could have only been 7 or 8. and i cried.
now, she is so much more than a mother-figure. she has become my confidant. my best friend. the person who "gets my giggle box turned on" as my mom says, the first one i call with gossip, and a lady who i admire more than words can express. driving home that afternoon, with the tangerine sun blazing into my car's windshield, i realized how blessed i was to have her in my life. 2 days later, she called to tell me she found a lump.
i live all of 180 miles away from the small town that we grew up in. where she moved back to after graduating from college. where she teaches middle school english and has made a beautiful family with her husband. although i love the coastal waters of charleston, i would be an outright liar if i said i didn't miss the nearness of my family. weeknights when they gather for a birthday celebration. impromptu visits to say "hey". sunday lunches after church. i miss so many of those special moments and it makes the life my husband and i have chosen here in charleston seem questionable at times. but never before have i wanted to be home more than when she called with her biopsy results. never have i so wanted to make an impromptu visit to her house, with a tub of ben & jerry's and a hug. the distance from her house to mine seemed like an eternity that night. the first of many nights.
my sister, voice quivering over the phone lines, felt the need to explain that she was "only chattering because [she] was standing outside". it may have only been 40 degrees but i'm no fool to believe that's the only reason she was chattering. she was weepy. and coming from a family that doesn't have very many weepy moments that is a difficult emotion to face. we are lovers of the laugh. even in the worst of times. i often find myself creating a joke to avoid a potentially sad or emotional moment. but there are no more jokes when it's cancer on the table and to hear even the slightest tremble in my sister's voice was enough to silence my laugh.
this unwelcome visitor has brought along with him an mri, a diagnosis of stage 3 invasive ductal carcinoma that has spread into some lymph nodes, a blur of hurried acceptance, and a ct and bone scan which are going on as i type this post. the restlessness of waiting on those results until friday is almost overwhelming. the impossible waiting game.
my courageous and beautiful sister, over the next few months faces chemotherapy, radiation, and a double mastectomy. "atleast i get a free boob job," she says. an eternal optimist and jokester. but let me tell you from personal experience that, unless she is booking rooms for bike week at myrtle beach, you never want to be faced with having to ask your sister to pick out a head scarf for you to give her as a gift. though somehow we even found a joke in that when she said she would kick my (ear muffs) ass if i bought her one of the "love your bald self" t-shirts.
upon getting this upsetting news my sweet and funny nephew told my sister that he knew of a good hospital in phoenix called "tempur pedic" that he had seen on wwe. i mean, who wouldn't want to battle cancer in a hospital halfway across the country with a bunch of wrestlers? and although he thought it was "cool", he also wanted assurance that mommy wouldn't be bald forever. for all the laughs that i'm sure my sister will need throughout the next few months, i'm glad to know this 8 year old comedian will be there.
my sister is incredibly brave and will beat this unforewarned disease but not without a mighty fight. so, for now, we are all covering ourselves in pink - pink thoughts, wishes, t-shirts, and bracelets. and praying that this wife, mother, daughter, sister, niece, teacher, friend and fighter will look back on this battle in 40+ years with blurry remembrance. and until then maybe she can humor herself in memories of long-past reenactments of her as johnny castle and me as baby in the final dance scene of dirty dancing. :)
TEAM PAIGE!
2 weeks ago, at 8:30 on a sunday night, these were the questions rolling through my mind when my sister, my only sister, called to tell me that the biopsy results were in and with one word, the course of her life was forever changed...
malignant.
rewind 3 weeks before this call. i was driving home on one of those gorgeous, orange-sky indian summer afternoons. i was thinking about my sister. growing up she was more of a mother-figure to me than a sister. being 11 years my senior she always gave me partial credit for christmas gifts she bought our parents, let me visit for long weekends when she was away at college, influenced my love for classic rock, and introduced me to a variety of priceless eighties movies that i otherwise would never have known but are now my favorites.
i flashed back to a saturday afternoon when i was younger. my sister and i watched "stand by me" that afternoon and when the theme song played at the end, she took my hands and we danced. and laughed. in the den of the house we both grew up in and where our parents still live happily today. i went in my room that afternoon and wondered what i would do if my sister "left" like gordie's brother did, in the movie. it was the first time i remember being worried about losing someone i loved. i could have only been 7 or 8. and i cried.
now, she is so much more than a mother-figure. she has become my confidant. my best friend. the person who "gets my giggle box turned on" as my mom says, the first one i call with gossip, and a lady who i admire more than words can express. driving home that afternoon, with the tangerine sun blazing into my car's windshield, i realized how blessed i was to have her in my life. 2 days later, she called to tell me she found a lump.
i live all of 180 miles away from the small town that we grew up in. where she moved back to after graduating from college. where she teaches middle school english and has made a beautiful family with her husband. although i love the coastal waters of charleston, i would be an outright liar if i said i didn't miss the nearness of my family. weeknights when they gather for a birthday celebration. impromptu visits to say "hey". sunday lunches after church. i miss so many of those special moments and it makes the life my husband and i have chosen here in charleston seem questionable at times. but never before have i wanted to be home more than when she called with her biopsy results. never have i so wanted to make an impromptu visit to her house, with a tub of ben & jerry's and a hug. the distance from her house to mine seemed like an eternity that night. the first of many nights.
my sister, voice quivering over the phone lines, felt the need to explain that she was "only chattering because [she] was standing outside". it may have only been 40 degrees but i'm no fool to believe that's the only reason she was chattering. she was weepy. and coming from a family that doesn't have very many weepy moments that is a difficult emotion to face. we are lovers of the laugh. even in the worst of times. i often find myself creating a joke to avoid a potentially sad or emotional moment. but there are no more jokes when it's cancer on the table and to hear even the slightest tremble in my sister's voice was enough to silence my laugh.
this unwelcome visitor has brought along with him an mri, a diagnosis of stage 3 invasive ductal carcinoma that has spread into some lymph nodes, a blur of hurried acceptance, and a ct and bone scan which are going on as i type this post. the restlessness of waiting on those results until friday is almost overwhelming. the impossible waiting game.
my courageous and beautiful sister, over the next few months faces chemotherapy, radiation, and a double mastectomy. "atleast i get a free boob job," she says. an eternal optimist and jokester. but let me tell you from personal experience that, unless she is booking rooms for bike week at myrtle beach, you never want to be faced with having to ask your sister to pick out a head scarf for you to give her as a gift. though somehow we even found a joke in that when she said she would kick my (ear muffs) ass if i bought her one of the "love your bald self" t-shirts.
upon getting this upsetting news my sweet and funny nephew told my sister that he knew of a good hospital in phoenix called "tempur pedic" that he had seen on wwe. i mean, who wouldn't want to battle cancer in a hospital halfway across the country with a bunch of wrestlers? and although he thought it was "cool", he also wanted assurance that mommy wouldn't be bald forever. for all the laughs that i'm sure my sister will need throughout the next few months, i'm glad to know this 8 year old comedian will be there.
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