Today marks one month, to the day...

before I meet the new little man in my life! The one who has been keeping me awake all night... sending me to the potty every 30 minutes... making me so hungry that I've almost gone into debt buying Ben & Jerry's Half Baked and Hardee's gravy biscuits ... punching my insides... and "un-glueing" me physically & emotionally for the past 8 months. One month to the day, until that wonderful day when I meet the little man who is making me fall insanely, head over heels, uncontrollably in love every single minute of every single day. One month!

It's amazing to me how much you can love someone that you've never met. Especially when that someone causes you to pee in your pants atleast once a day. I imagine his little face, so perfect and round, and how precious it will be to see his soft, tiny hand wrapped around John's finger. I wonder if I will melt into a ball of mush at the first sound of his baby cries or what it will feel like the day we bring him home. Will he have John's great hair, my eyes, a good sense of humor? Will he be a t-ball all-star or spelling bee champ? Will he love me as much as I already love him? And will the first moment I hold him in my arms be as overwhelmingly wonderful as I have envisioned?

These are the sweet thoughts I wrap myself in on the days when the "joys" of pregnancy are staring me down into the toilet. I have definitely earned a new-found respect for mother's across the globe, because, let me tell ya', it sure hasn't been easy, Soulshine. In fact, some of those days have been down-right miserable!

There was the morning that I yacked in the shower! I couldn't stop puking so, naked & wet, I proceeded towards the toilet where... I puked so hard, I pee'd ALL OVER THE FLOOR. And if that wasn't bad enough, in the midst of being exhausted from puking and still green with nausea, I had to clean out a shower that was filled with last night's dinner and a floor that was covered in a bladder full of pee. I didn't eat lima beans again for 6 months! (I know, I know. You're thinking you could have done without that, right? Well, so could I!)

Then came month 6 when I had my flu shot & glucose screening (to test for diabetes). Apparently the combination was too much for my already tired body and somewhere between the hours of 2 and 3, I passed out cold on my desk at work, waking up 2 hours later to a pile of drool and one very confused customer.

Oh! Then there was that unforgettable night at John's softball game, in the fall. Sporting my newly protruding belly, I made way to the bathroom stall to pee. I was still learning how to maneuver properly and apparently, hadn't worked out all the kinks in my squat & hover (ladies - we all know about the public bathroom "squat & hover") and I pee'd all down the back of my brand new maternity blue jeans. Imagine the embarrassment of walking back out to a bleacher full of people with a huge dark stain down the back of your pants. Not pleasant! I imagined the baby, all snuggled in my belly, laughing his adorable buns off at his idiot mommy who just pee'd herself.

I've had heartburn & headaches that I thought would kill me - learned to say the words "diarrhea" & "constipation" in public without embarrassment (ps. there's no normal pooping in pregnancy) - silently cussed out several stupid men who took the liberty of calling me "chubby" - mastered the art of secretly napping at work - concealed a million eye rolls after being told, "this is nothing compared to what's coming soon" - read things that scare the absolute beegeezus out of me - made keegles a part of my daily life - and, well...

I could go on and on!

But it won't be the misery of peeing my pants or overwhelming nausea that I remember when I see his perfect little face for the first time. In fact, I have a feeling that all of that suffering will fade away quickly leaving me only with the greatest blessing I have yet to receive.

One month to the day, and I can hardly wait!