"You see George, it really is a wonderful life..."

It's the typical week before Christmas. A million gifts to wrap, a million left to buy, Christmas cards that need to be sent, cookies to bake, packing before I travel home tomorrow, and (most importantly for a Cosmo girl) finger nails that still need to be splashed in my favorite holiday color - Red. With all of these tasks lingering on my mind, there is only one thing that I truly must do.

So.... I pop the cork on a bottle of red, light the awesome peppermint candle I received as a gift yesterday, wrap myself in a fuzzy blanket, and dive into the couch wearing my most comfy jammies. I press play on the dvd remote and the screen flashes on...

"It's A Wonderful Life"

For years now, it has been a Courtney holiday tradition to watch this incredible Frank Capra film before Santa comes a-knockin' on Christmas Eve. As much as a well-lit tree is essential for promoting holiday cheer, so is this movie for me. Consider it my holiday good luck charm - I simply have to have it.

So here we are, me & George Bailey, on our annual holiday date. George has just saved little brother Harry from drowning (5 minutes in) and I'm already beginning to tear up.

I take a sip of vino.

George accompanies Mary on a midnight walk through Bedford Falls. "What is it you want, Mary... You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down." And, of course, George and Mary fall in love. But even this love will not subside the frustration of dreams he once believed in, soon to be lost in the shuffle of obligation.

Another sip of vino.

I wish for a moment that I had burning logs in the fireplace to complete this perfect night at home... and then my mind quickly takes me to the fireplace catastrophy of last Christmas (a story for another day).

But I digress. A desperate and suicidal George is soon greeted by his guardian angel Clarence. In an attempt to help him realize his own self-worth and essentially save him, Clarence creates a life in which George Bailey never existed.

Half a bottle of vino and and hour & a half in, my heart is feeling warmer. There is just something about this movie that compacts all of my worries into a ball and thumps them right out into oblivion. As Tucker sneaks up onto the couch and snuggles in beside me, I feel a lump in my throat when George and Clarence arrive at the cemetery...

Clarence: Your brother, Harry Bailey, broke through the ice and was drowned at the age of nine.
George: That's a lie! Harry Bailey went to war - he got the Congressional Medal of Honor, he saved the lives of every man on that transport.
Clarence: Every man on that transport died! Harry wasn't there to save them, because you weren't there to save Harry. Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole!

TEARS. STREAMING.

Clarence is right, you know, and I believe that's what I love so very much about this movie. It always serves as a reminder to me of what I have and what I have accomplished. I read a book recently called "The Five People You Meet In Heaven" - fantastic read! Go to the nearest Barnes & Noble today, literally, and buy it. In it, the author uses the same idea, different method, to remind his readers that we live unaware of the great impact in which we have on other's lives.

In the end, George Bailey returns to his family and with the help of his friends, the crisis is overted. As George reads Clarence's final words of wisdom, "Remember, no man is a failure, who has friends", a bell rings to signify that Clarence has received his wings. My heart is literally bursting with happiness and Christmas spirit as the sounds of "Auld Lang Syne" fill my apartment and the movie closes.

Christmas mission accomplished.

It is a 'Wonderful Life'!

2007, WHERE ARE YOU?!?!

Could someone out there please be kind enough to tell me where exactly 2007 has disappeared... did I forget to wake up from the nap that I took on January 3rd and miss everything???

I'm confused!

Maybe the year was lost in the shuffle of all my shoe shopping OR between the driving that I did from my apartment to the vet's office for the million medical debacles in which my dog found himself. Or perhaps some of the days were physically discarded from my memory to erase the trauma of the handful of "first dates" that I ventured out on and the continued attempts to dim the heat on 2 old flames. Is it possible that the year got trapped in my old Cougar on the day that I sold it and drove off the lot in my new Jeep Cherokee? Or maybe it was tossed overboard on the day that we almost capsized in Scott's 15' Jon Boat while attempting to cross the usually calm Charleston Harbor.

I'm also thinking that I potentially could have laughed those days straight into oblivion. This year of gut-busters included: Aubrey trying to kill his first cockroach (HILARIOUS!); the day I put aside my fear of birds (and all other winged animals) and took Riley to the park to feed the ducks and the damn things tried to attack us - as our quick step turned into a mad dash I almost peed-my-pants from laughter & fright (I'm still somewhat scarred by this experience); the International Mall bathroom experience (i'm laughing out loud as I type that one); late night escapades with Stephen, the "Crenco bandit"; Mandy swinging the stripper pole in her drunken birthday haze; Poogan's Porch brunch with the now infamous silent farting assassin; Pablo Escobar sightings; the TALL Carissa, little Courtney photoshoot... I could go on and on but I'll stop myself!

Or maybe... just maybe... piled in a large box that is long forgotten, are the days and hours I spent at work. The hours spent saying "Good afternoon, HMY Yacht Sales". Typing. Paper work for 6 million dollars worth of Closings. Dock Walks. Documentation Agents. Lienholders. Insurance Agents. Time Sheets. Paper Jams. Staff Meetings. ahhhhhhhhhh! I must stop before I stress myself out.

Chances are, it's lost in a daydream somewhere... a sunset that caught my eye and stayed with me for the rest of those days!

At any rate, I notice that every passing year goes by faster and faster. Yesterday I was driving back from DC after one of the most interesting New Year celebrations of my life, and today I'm struggling to wrap up Christmas shopping because it's one week to the day before Santa squeezes his jolly self down the chimney of every eager boy & girl in the world. Maybe Santa will leave a giant remote control with a super-sized pause button, under my Christmas tree.

But until then, I'm sure glad I took plenty of pictures...

Good Will Towards Men

Non-violence is not inaction. It is not discussion. It is not for the timid or weak...Non-violence is hard work. It is the willingness to sacrifice. It is the patience to win.

~ Cesar Chavez

____________________________

At 22, I discovered the wonders of yoga and invited it into my life. At the risk of sounding like a new-age fanatic or "hippie chick" I must say, Yoga's immense healing powers guided me through some difficult times and opened my eyes to a different way of life. I would leave the studio feeling empowered and ready to take on whatever challenge life could throw my way. More than just the accomplishment of conquering a new pose, it instilled a sense of self-gratification in me that I had never known. Unfortunately, at 25, I came to the realization that my bills totaled more than my paycheck and something had to be eliminated. Power ranked higher than Yoga, and I think we all know which one got the boot!

Recently I've had the nagging feeling that something is absent in my life… something intangible. It's as if an imaginary man is standing on my shoulder, tapping me with his bony little finger. With every tap, he's saying that I should be doing something more substantial. This is not to say that I don’t already have a great deal of substance to my life; I have a job, a handful of friends to keep me on my toes, I donate my time and money to help others, and come home every night to a house full of happiness and laughter. Still, the tapping continues, and I search for this missing link behind every corner, under every stone. I think most people would term this as RESTLESSNESS! The mere gust of a breeze from the harbor has blown my thoughts all over the globe, in search of a new adventure.

I shared my uncontrollable restlessness with Miss Cari D., my best friend, who has recently sun-salutationed herself all the way up to Yoga Instructor, among many of her other amazing accomplishments. The genius that she is said, "You need Yoga.... I invite you to incorporate Yoga back into your life". My god, she's RIGHT… YOGA. That’s it - exactly what I need! Never have I been more at peace and assured of myself than those few years I spent in that studio.

Totally excited, I'm off on this new Yoga adventure and plan not only to incorporate it into my life physically, but also mentally. For many people, Yoga is a way of life, a philosophy. It has often times been referred to as a tree, a living being. Much like any other tree, it has roots, a trunk, branches, and fruit - all representing a different belief in the Yoga philosophy. “Yama” is the first limb on the first branch of Yoga. Literally translated, it means "restraint" or a code of conduct for living virtuously. Now don’t get me wrong, I know I'm no saint and I don't pretend to be, but it couldn’t hurt to go out in search of a better, more virtuous Courtney.

Ahimsa, the first out of ten Yamas, focuses on non-violence and the elimination of harm towards self & others in thought, word, and deed. My goal is to spend one month practicing each Yama in hopes of finding this “better Courtney”. Seeing that December is the month noted for "good will towards men", there couldn’t be a better time to start.

I must be honest and say that I anticipated this to be a simple challenge! HA... simple?! I should have known anything coined as a challenge would never be simple! When I imagine strength, I am usually flooded with the physical connotations – I envision Michael Corleone retaliating against the infamous Five Families to avenge his brother's death.

Until the other day...

Picture it... I’m driving down the road, listening to Kanye’s latest hit “Stronger” (how appropriate, I know!), and as my new haircut tosses in the wind I am totally submerged in my "happy place". With the blink of an eye this lady comes zooming out of no where in her gold Honda and cuts me off, leaving me in her dust. Ahimsa would guide a follower to “Turn the other cheek and keep driving”. Instead, a slur of profanities the size of Texas instantly spewed from my mouth before I had the chance to stop myself. Wow! Is this really the Courtney that I'm going to be working with for the next month.

Imagine the strength it would have taken for me to refrain from that crazy jumble of profanities. It certainly takes more will to keep a calm word in the midst of your enemies than it does to blow up and let your emotions explode all over the atmosphere. Certainly nothing was accomplished when I lashed out in my empty car, it only stirred the irritation inside of me. So it appears I have some work to do! I'm hoping that by generating a little more kindness (internally & externally) that my heart will become lighter and everything else, including the little man on my shoulder, will fade away.

I tell you this in hopes that it will hold me to my word. Once something is typed into Cyberspace, there's no going back. Ahimsa teaches that refraining from violence and harm to others is true strength. In the spirit of the season, I encourage everyone to invoke more strength in themselves and simply send some kindness out into the world... and never forget to put a little to the side for yourself.

Happy Thanksgiving!

As I look around today, I realize how many wonderful things I have to be thankful for. In a world that is filled with such violence and strife, I count myself one lucky lady to be nestled in such a cozy existence and living a life where I often take for granted that which some view as a tremendous blessing. That being said, I don't feel that I adequately thank God for the many blessings that have been handed to me, so TODAY I want to take a moment and reflect on a few of the things that make this life so incredible! Hopefully, on the next day that finds me a little less than satisfied, this list can serve as a reminder of everything I have to be thankful for!

~ My amazing family who never fails to make me laugh & is always there when I need them
~ A group of friends who have become like family
~ Tucker, my oh-so-sweet puppy dog
~ A closet full of GREAT shoes :)
~ Health & Happiness
~ Living close enough to the ocean that I can enjoy the sun & sand during the day and the beautiful stars at night
~ That most delicious fried turkey that dad spent the morning preparing
~ A home
~ The view I have on my commute to and from work
~ The snooze button
~ Freedom
~ The scent of fresh lilies stirring throughout my apartment
~ Happy Hour Margaritas
~ A box full of old pictures that always makes me smile
~ Good music
~ Wagon Wheel's fried squash ;)
~ The changing of the leaves in Fall
~ All of my wonderful memories, and the anticipation of what's to come
~ Egyptian Cotton Sheets (they really are the greatest thing)
~ Babies laughter
~ And most importantly - LIFE!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO YOU AND YOURS!!!

Baby Kayden

Have you ever reached a moment in your life where you KNOW, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this is it - you're finally the dreaded "A" word? Dare I say it.... Adult. You have adult bills, adult decisions, and if you make a mistake it carries adult consequences.
I ask this question, because last night, I think I had my moment. That's not to say I haven't had this moment a million times before - like the day I bought my first car or the first day that my heels carried me into a 9 to 5 job - but I believe last night was IT! My roomie and long time close friend became a father.
Let me begin by saying, I have MANY friends who have ventured into the joys that parenthood can offer, so this is not a new concept to me. I am "Aunt CoCo" to more than just my wonderful nephew, Riley. It goes deeper than that! For years my roomie, Aubrey, has been like a brother to me... a little brother. I've watched him grow from that neighborhood skater kid into a hard-working man. When younger we would spend our time walking the nearby railroad tracks or skipping the rocks down at the Rapids - not a care in the world. And now, as of 10:15 last night, he's a father. A happy, proud father!
Just a few weeks ago we were discussing the anticipation of this event and I informed him that for the past 8 months I have lived under the notion that this pregnancy would just continue on for eternity. There would never be a baby, just a big belly - FOREVER. I guess I was proven wrong last night when little Kayden came into this world. Obviously 8 months wasn't long enough for me to process! :)
Although it is an enormous change, I know that he will be a blessing and I wish him all the fortune and happiness that the world has to offer. Welcome baby Kayden!

HELLO BLOGSPOT!

I find myself fascinated with sunsets lately! I am gravitated towards those mystic purples and pinks, yellows and oranges, all swirling together, as if God has cast his large celestial paint brush against the sky creating this oh-so-perfect masterpiece… like SOULSHINE! It’s getting to the point where I can hardly drive home from work in the evenings because I’m too busy staring off into that captivating sky-line. A thought I shared with my mom on the afternoon commute yesterday….. BIG NO, NO. Her maternal instincts kick in, and I instantly get the “you could accidentally drive off the side of the bridge” talk. Valid point, I will give her that! To ease her worries and ensure the safety of other motorists (as that seems important also) I reduce to quick glances at this gift from God – a perfect way to end the tiresome day. This soon leads into a free-flow of thoughts and I find myself reflecting on life. Where have I been? Where am I going? And on, and on! What magical power does this sunset possess, that it can force me into self reflection at a moment when all I want to do is push the entire world out of my mind?

At any rate, here I am…. driving and self-reflecting.

As I ramble on, to myself, I realize that I need an outlet. Not a voice on the phone or chatting over a bottle of wine (although I do L-O-V-E both of these activities) but a place of refuge where I can release my thoughts freely. No personal contact! Just me in an empty room, fingers to the keyboard. So here I go! This is me! A twenty-something lady, eagerly working to discover my place in this world, and HOPING that somewhere in the mix of all these words, I will get it right!