Good Will Towards Men

Non-violence is not inaction. It is not discussion. It is not for the timid or weak...Non-violence is hard work. It is the willingness to sacrifice. It is the patience to win.

~ Cesar Chavez

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At 22, I discovered the wonders of yoga and invited it into my life. At the risk of sounding like a new-age fanatic or "hippie chick" I must say, Yoga's immense healing powers guided me through some difficult times and opened my eyes to a different way of life. I would leave the studio feeling empowered and ready to take on whatever challenge life could throw my way. More than just the accomplishment of conquering a new pose, it instilled a sense of self-gratification in me that I had never known. Unfortunately, at 25, I came to the realization that my bills totaled more than my paycheck and something had to be eliminated. Power ranked higher than Yoga, and I think we all know which one got the boot!

Recently I've had the nagging feeling that something is absent in my life… something intangible. It's as if an imaginary man is standing on my shoulder, tapping me with his bony little finger. With every tap, he's saying that I should be doing something more substantial. This is not to say that I don’t already have a great deal of substance to my life; I have a job, a handful of friends to keep me on my toes, I donate my time and money to help others, and come home every night to a house full of happiness and laughter. Still, the tapping continues, and I search for this missing link behind every corner, under every stone. I think most people would term this as RESTLESSNESS! The mere gust of a breeze from the harbor has blown my thoughts all over the globe, in search of a new adventure.

I shared my uncontrollable restlessness with Miss Cari D., my best friend, who has recently sun-salutationed herself all the way up to Yoga Instructor, among many of her other amazing accomplishments. The genius that she is said, "You need Yoga.... I invite you to incorporate Yoga back into your life". My god, she's RIGHT… YOGA. That’s it - exactly what I need! Never have I been more at peace and assured of myself than those few years I spent in that studio.

Totally excited, I'm off on this new Yoga adventure and plan not only to incorporate it into my life physically, but also mentally. For many people, Yoga is a way of life, a philosophy. It has often times been referred to as a tree, a living being. Much like any other tree, it has roots, a trunk, branches, and fruit - all representing a different belief in the Yoga philosophy. “Yama” is the first limb on the first branch of Yoga. Literally translated, it means "restraint" or a code of conduct for living virtuously. Now don’t get me wrong, I know I'm no saint and I don't pretend to be, but it couldn’t hurt to go out in search of a better, more virtuous Courtney.

Ahimsa, the first out of ten Yamas, focuses on non-violence and the elimination of harm towards self & others in thought, word, and deed. My goal is to spend one month practicing each Yama in hopes of finding this “better Courtney”. Seeing that December is the month noted for "good will towards men", there couldn’t be a better time to start.

I must be honest and say that I anticipated this to be a simple challenge! HA... simple?! I should have known anything coined as a challenge would never be simple! When I imagine strength, I am usually flooded with the physical connotations – I envision Michael Corleone retaliating against the infamous Five Families to avenge his brother's death.

Until the other day...

Picture it... I’m driving down the road, listening to Kanye’s latest hit “Stronger” (how appropriate, I know!), and as my new haircut tosses in the wind I am totally submerged in my "happy place". With the blink of an eye this lady comes zooming out of no where in her gold Honda and cuts me off, leaving me in her dust. Ahimsa would guide a follower to “Turn the other cheek and keep driving”. Instead, a slur of profanities the size of Texas instantly spewed from my mouth before I had the chance to stop myself. Wow! Is this really the Courtney that I'm going to be working with for the next month.

Imagine the strength it would have taken for me to refrain from that crazy jumble of profanities. It certainly takes more will to keep a calm word in the midst of your enemies than it does to blow up and let your emotions explode all over the atmosphere. Certainly nothing was accomplished when I lashed out in my empty car, it only stirred the irritation inside of me. So it appears I have some work to do! I'm hoping that by generating a little more kindness (internally & externally) that my heart will become lighter and everything else, including the little man on my shoulder, will fade away.

I tell you this in hopes that it will hold me to my word. Once something is typed into Cyberspace, there's no going back. Ahimsa teaches that refraining from violence and harm to others is true strength. In the spirit of the season, I encourage everyone to invoke more strength in themselves and simply send some kindness out into the world... and never forget to put a little to the side for yourself.