taking time

I was waiting outside one of my favorite Charleston spots (Kickin Chicken) for a to-go lunch order on Tuesday. Thinking. People watching. I looove to people watch. And coming down the sidewalk I spotted a group of 3: Mom, Son (3ish), and Grandmother (i'm assuming). Mom was sprinting to get inside while Granny and baby boy were strolling a good 20 feet back - they were hand holding and laughing. And Mom was missing it! Granted, I don't know the circumstances. Maybe this wasn't even her son. Maybe Granny rarely gets to see baby boy so Mom was giving them space. Maybe baby boy was mad at Mom and didn't want to hold her hand. Maybe Mom had explosive diarrhea. I don't know. My eyes can only interpret what they saw... and that was a Mom who was not present in a beautiful moment with her Son and Mother.

It made me sad. Not really sad for the boy because he looked content. It made me sad for Sully; and for me (if that makes any sense)… sad for all the moments where that may have been me – rushing and not pausing to enjoy hidden moments that may never come again. Although Sully and I have many, MANY great moments together, I know there are times that I miss out and don't even realize. Like when I opt to surf the internet while John takes him for a stroll outside or when I coerce him to play with his toys so I can catch up on Young & the Restless.

And it’s not just with Sully. There are so many things happening in my life that I speed through and don’t appreciate until they’re over. I have this strange tendency to enjoy events more in theory than when they actually occur because I allow stress to dominate my other emotions. It can be one of the great obstructions from life’s pleasures and one that I frequently combat. Case in point - the day I was fitted for my wedding gown. I should have been GLOWING. Instead I was hurried and flustered because it was a “hectic” day. I had to make a conscious effort to stop and savor that moment. Indulge in the fact that the wedding dress I had been waiting months for was lying in the back of my car and it was just as beautiful as I had anticipated.

Sitting there in the Kickin Chicken parking lot, I resolved myself to get caught up in the little moments with Sully (and with everything for that matter). As fate would have it, I got a lesson all too soon. Sully had a seizure (his first) 4 hours after my lunch revelation. Seizures are not a part of my vocabulary. No one in my family has ever had one, I have never had one, and don’t have any friends that have them. So when the daycare called to tell me, unthinkable images began to sprout through my mind. Fortunately (I guess you could say), the doctor said it was due to a fast spike in his fever brought on by pneumonia and a double ear infection which apparently is common. Regardless of how serious or not, that was enough of a jolt for me. Like a sign from God. It feels so cliché saying it but I will anyway – we are not promised any amount of days on this earth and right now, starting today, I want to make sure that whether its 20 days or 20,000, I live them the best that I possibly can. That I max out as much caring and sharing, fun and laughter as I possibly can so that Sully’s life can be full of great days and one day he we can look back and think "what a wonderful life".